Hanging Onto Home

As Juan and I began to eliminate stuff and prepare our house for the market, our dear friends Lynne and Michael lost their home and everything in it to the Camp Fire that ravaged the town of Paradise, California, on November 8, 2018.

Lynne and Michael's home

They have green thumbs, for sure!

Happy fern in Lynne's garden

Fern ghosts

Lynne and I communicate regularly on the phone, so as the shock of the fire grew a little less intense, we talked at great length about the vastly different, yet parallel, experiences we were sharing regarding our belongings and our homes. Lynne’s chosen way of referring to their loss, “All our stuff went to heaven!” was contrasted by my “We have way too much friggin’ stuff!” Lynne’s “We don’t have a home anymore” countered my “I can’t wait to get out from under our mortgage!” In the face of their loss, Lynne could have felt my whining insensitive, but she is always gracious and, in truth, was more intrigued by our different realities than inclined to begrudge me. 

Our lilacs in spring

Juan's and my home

While Lynne struggled to function in the face of her loss, I found, despite my excitement for our upcoming adventure, that I, too, was flooded with feelings of loss as I anticipated leaving the home and land and friends I loved.

​Lynne and I talked about such shearing sorrow, and contemplated the essence of home, trying to discover a passageway through the cave of grief that might lead to a shaft of light and a release from our yearnings. How do you let go? 

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​Practicing Buddhists consider this a very juicy place to be, one in which a person is given the opportunity to shuck off life’s complexities and attachments and embrace the freedom that comes with doing so.

​It doesn’t come easily, let me tell you, and my journey has been a cakewalk compared to all that Lynne and Michael have had to surmount.

Lynne and I have worked hard to understand each other's experience and to offer empathy and support, all the while laughing together at the convoluted ways in which we are adapting. I think we both agree with the Buddhist perspective. This is indeed a juicy place to be. As we cultivate our ability to live with less, Lynne and I both feel lighter on fundamental levels we could never have imagined.  

The burned trees had to come down